No, your Kids are not that special

Hey Parents, guess what?

To other people, your kids aren’t as important as you think they are.

“But Rantsen” I hear you wail, “you’re a Parent yourself! How could you say such a thing?”

Because I’m a realist, that’s why.

Like most Parents (not all, nothing is all remember) I love my kids, I really do, but there comes a time when you need to realise that people just don’t give as much of a sh*t about them as you do.

When my kids were born I used to absolutely bombard my Facebook page with pictures of them in their new outfits and, what was literally hourly updates of “amazing” things they had just done.

Like smiling.

Like laughing.

Like having the worst smelling nappy in the history of the entire Universe.

And, at the beginning, I would get lots of likes and comments about how beautiful and cute my kids were, and how people were “sooooo jealous…” of me for having such amazing kids. These comments ranged from my male, “Alpha-Male” friends, to my family, to my older-generational friends who don’t really know how to use “a Facebook”, but could still , manage to string together an “aw, they’re lovely” or a “you must be so proud”. (I have a wide variety of Friends who all belong to some sort of stereo-typical group or another.)

But, however, after a while the comments would become less and less. The Alpha-Male bro’s would maybe give a Like once in a while in-between Gym sessions, as would the childless Guys and Gals who were still popping pills in Nightclubs and who hadn’t “settled down” yet. The only real Kid-fans I had left were the “Oldies” and my Family, and even those were starting to tail off and leave only the occasional polite Comment or Like.

I was devastated to say the least.

“But I think my kids are amazing!” I said to myself. “Why aren’t people interested anymore?”

Here’s why.

Having Kids can cloud your judgement; you can go from being the most rational person to the most irrational in the time it takes a cervix to dilate. The moment you have them, you place them on the highest pedestal and build up barriers to prevent them being knocked off it. You believe that everyone else should feel the way you do about your children and that anyone who doesn’t particularly like, or want kids is at best deluded, or at worst, a monster.

People with kids think this because of one thing – You forget how you yourself felt about kids before you had your own.

Again, not all. Some people are pre-disposed to liking kids, others don’t realise they would like them until they’ve had them. Before I had kids I used to be completely in-different of them (I didn’t know my Nephew had a middle name until he was 14)

I realised this, thankfully, before it was too late and I let myself become swept up in the notion that “people can be so cruel” not to worship my kids the way I do.

One of my friends had posted on Facebook that it was her daughters’ birthday and I noticed the almost robotic responses she was getting from people. There must have been six different people all replying with the old classic “Wow, where has all of the time gone? Happy Birthday Anais (not her real name but I’m surprised it’s not as her mother is the worlds biggest Hipster).

It was then I realised –  I’d wrote exactly the same thing. To the word.

I once didn’t pay my electric bill on time so I could buy my new-born son an extra present to go along with the hundreds of pounds I’d already spent, for a Christmas that he would have no idea or recollection about. Yet, I couldn’t even come up with an original birthday wish for my friends’ daughter? What a heartless monster I was.

Except, I didn’t feel like a monster. I felt that, as lovely as “Anais” is, I didn’t have the need to go over the top about her in the same way I would with my own because I experience my kids way different to someone else’s.

And I suppose the same can be said about a lot of things in life.

Nobody will ever love your kids as much as you do, therefore it’s so important to know that, and to not forget it.

No, your kids aren’t that special. To everyone but you.

So go ahead and adore your children; love them like there is no tomorrow.

Just don’t be upset that not everyone else feels as much love for them as you do.

RANT OVER

 

 

 

 

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Terror: the forbidden discussion

Here we go again people, here we go again. Another week on the Terror express that is sweeping Europe and the World. And it ain’t slowing down.

1 killed and several injured in Charlottesville, USA

15 killed and over 100 injured in Barcelona, Spain.

2 killed and 8 injured in Turku, Finland.

So where next? Where will be the target for the next over-the-top statement of ideologies?

The easiest way to answer that one is to grab a map, open it up, close your eyes and point.

It could literally be anywhere.

And that’s one of the two things that are scaring me the most.

The other? Not being able to talk about it.

You’re racist if you say it’s Islamic terrorism, and a Snowflake if you say it’s White Supremacy.

You’re an Islamic sympathizer if you say it’s not Islamic Terror and a Nazi if you say it’s not White Supremacy

It’s “bloody immigrants” say some people.

It’s “Lone Wolves” say another.

It’s everything to do with Islam/White Supremacy.

It’s nothing to do with Islam/White Supremacy.

Who do you believe? What opinion should you have?

Personally, I think all of these statements play a part in seeking an answer.

Does that mean I hate Muslims, Immigrants, or “foreign people”?

Does it mean I sympathise with Nazis or White Supremacists?

Absolutely not. I abhor anyone who uses their Race, Religion, Creed or Morals to justify killing and harming other people.

What I hate is that people are killing and maiming innocent people across Europe and the rest of the World and nobody can tell me why. Throwing out terms such as Nazi and Islamic Terrorist are equally useful and useless.

They are useful when they are describing people who openly adhere to the title that they are being given; James Earl Fields Jr is a Nazi and a White Supremacist who used his beliefs to justify killing Heather Heyer and attempting to kill many others, and the Terrorists who ran over people in Barcelona are Islamic Terrorists as they are using Islam as an excuse to justify their actions.

They are useless when you label an entire group, Race or Religion the same as it’s extremists. The majority of ALL races are decent people and we need to remember that. The majority of ALL Religious ideologies are decent people, and we need to remember that also.

There’s good and bad in every group of people in the World, no matter how many catergories you divide them into. The trick is to single out the bad ones and not worry about upsetting an entire group.

The good will always outweigh the bad unless we continue to label entire groups the same as their worst elements.

The bad, however, will outweigh the good if we continue to think that our own group is perfect and free from judgement.

Nobodies Race, Religion or ideology is perfect, and that is the biggest hurdle to overcome.

We need to condemn the worst elements of all the World’s ideologies – even when it’s our own.

RANT OVER

 

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Pin your tail on the Donkey

This story is one of the most bizarre and disturbing I have ever come across (see link to report here)

We’ve all heard of someone who tells a story about someone who’s related to someone, who knows someone, who’s heard from their friend, that someone they know once rubbed peanut butter on a “certain place” and let their dog lick it off.

We’ve all heard the tale. Please don’t act like you haven’t.

As weird and as sick as those stories are, (not to mention illegal), they pale in comparison to this one.

The crux of this sordid tale is this – 15 people from a rural village in Morocco have been treated in hospital for Rabies after having sex with an infected donkey.

Yes, you read that right.

But that’s not the strangest part. The age range of these Rabies-infected Donkey-Botherers?

7-15 years old.

Yes, 7-15.

My kids are far from perfect; one thinks he’s a YouTube Gamer-vid star, (even though he doesn’t have a YouTube account) and the other thinks he’s Lightening McQueen. Stick a donkey in front of them and they’re more likely to try and show it how to play Rocket League or Call of Duty rather than shag it.

7 years old? The ones over 13 I can kind of understand; whether they should or not, at least they’ll know what sex is and what it’s purpose is to a certain extent. But the under 13’s? I shudder to think .

The parents of these absolute numbskulls are said to be “ashamed” and “embarrassed” of the incident.

I think that’s the least they should be feeling don’t you?

The poor donkey involved in this ordeal ended up being euthanized in order to prevent the spread of Rabies further. Never mind getting raped by the Moroccan version of the Droogs, the poor animal then got the equivalent of a shovel to the back of the neck for it’s troubles.

So, the next time you’re worrying about the amount of time your kids are spending playing on video games, just be thankful they’re not shagging an animal.

Goodbye for now, I’m off to do some grocery shopping….we keep running out of peanut butter for some reason…

RANT OVER

 

 

Lady in a Pickle

I’m always glad when people realise they’ve been making poor life choices. It gives hope to the normal people out there who pour scorn on the Hipsters who think acting like a sideshow attraction somehow makes you “edgy” or “interesting”.

It doesn’t.

I came across a story about “The Pickle Lady” the other day and, apart from it having an amazing title, it showed that there is still hope out there for some.

The Pickled Lady in question is a Contortionist by the name of Steph Mercury, and, as you might be able to guess from her stage name, squeezes herself into a 2ft jar; sometimes for almost 20 minutes at a time. (I bet it’s lovely inside there after that amount of time….) She performs her act at the “Circus of Horrors”, the modern day version of a Circus that appeals to the Hipster brigade as it “pushes boundaries” and is a little out of left-field. Gone are the Happy Clowns with confetti in their buckets, only to be replaced Pennywise the Clown wannabes and guys shoving serrated blades through their cheeks.

clown

I know, I know, people have been doing weird and wacky stuff in Circuses for a long time, but come on! A jar? Has she never read Ray Bradbury? (By the way if you haven’t you really should – click here) She’s not a bloody Octopus!

It seems the need to perform her Pickled Lady act to the 3/4 length pants wearing masses doesn’t outweigh her need to not be “covered from head to foot in bruises” every night, and frankly, looking like a drowned rat in a leotard.  Thankfully Ms. Mercury has decided to quit living life like a mollusc and has decided to become an “Aerial Artist” instead. And good on her I say; as far as Circus careers go, a Trapeze Artist is a respectable career choice. It’s a throwback to the good old days of the Circus when there wasn’t the need to dismember your body to please the crowd.

Saying that, she’ll probably have to do it with no net, blindfolded, juggling babies, carrying flaming chainsaws to get a reaction out of people these days……

Rant Over

 

 

 

 

Heather Heyer – a needless death

No matter your views on why the Charlottesville rally happened or who was to blame for the violence, there’s one thing that we know for certain.

Heather Heyer was murdered because she had different beliefs than her killer.

Heather went to Charlottesville to counter-protest the White Nationalists who themselves, were protesting the removal of a Robert E Lee statue.

And now she is dead.

A scumbag, detestable, White Nationalist moron ran his car through a crowd in the deliberate act of aiming to kill people he didn’t agree with.

And he succeeded.

White Nationalists, and any other group of people who use their race and beliefs as an excuse to hate others and espouse theirs views on other people are the lowest form of scum that exist. For there to still be racist people in this day and age, the 21st century, is beyond my comprehension.

It really is time for this to stop.

Two sets of beliefs came together on the day of Heather’s death-

Heather believed that people should come together and fight injustice and racism.

James Fields Jr. believed that he had the moral right to kill somebody that didn’t believe the same principles as himself.

You can disagree with somebody all you like, but to kill somebody because they don’t believe the same things as you is abhorrent. I’d like to think that everybody else agrees with that.

The sad thing is I don’t think they do.

Heather Heyer’s death was needless

And that is why a line needs to be drawn and people, no matter your political affiliation, need to unite and put a stop to this entire “It’s your fault”/”No, it’s your fault” rhetoric that is threatening to divide the entire world.

Her last social media post was this –

“If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”

Nazis, White Supremacist, Racial discriminators –

Pay attention – we are ALL outraged.

 

 

 

Joggers have rights too

I’m sure you’ve heard about the “Demon Jogger of Putney Bridge” by now. (if you haven’t, get out from under your rock and click the link)  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-london-40860045/putney-bridge-cctv-of-jogger-pushing-woman-in-front-of-bus

First off, I hope the Lady involved is OK and that the Bus Driver gets the recognition he deserves for his timely actions.

The Jogger on the other hand…

This absolutely insanely self-important prick has confirmed a suspicion I have had for a while now-

Most Joggers have serious issues. (MOST- not ALL)

I, like a lot of people, like to “People Watch” and living beside a Cycleway which is used by literally hundreds of Joggers everyday, has afforded me the ability to be able to study this growing phenomenon in close detail (I realise this makes me sound like a “peeping Tom” but I assure you I’m not; I very rarely touch myself while doing it…)

What I have noticed is this – Joggers can be extremely aggressive.

Don’t you DARE step in front of them when they’re running up behind you and you’re unaware they are there.

Don’t you DARE have a Pushchair or Pram (or God forbid a double buggy); you take up too much room

Don’t you DARE have a dog on a leash (or so help me God, not on one)

And don’t you DARE use the footpath to take your kids to school. Yes, I’m talking to all 200 parents taking their kids to the school that the footpath goes past.

Do any of these things, and you set yourself up for any of the following, all of which I have witnessed first-hand-

Verbal abuse

Being spat on

Having water thrown on you

Being physically attacked

Being run-over by a Jogger-Mom with a sports buggy (containing a petrified child)

I kid you not. This happens all of the time and no, I’m not exaggerating.

And this is in the suburbs! Wait until you get into the city where the real action happens.

What happened on Putney Bridge while shocking, really wasn’t that surprising. As self-entitlement goes up among the population, so do the amount of instances like this; people want what they want, and dammit they’re going to get it, no matter what the cost.

It’s just another day on the path to entitlement.

Don’t get in the way or you WILL be thrown under the bus.

Literally.

RANT OVER

@rantsen_things

Returning the Wave – Driving basics

Driving really is one of the most stressful things you can do on a daily basis, so it absolutely baffles me why people make it harder than it already is.

I’m not talking about the big things like talking on your mobile or tail-gating, (both of which I’ve been guilty of in the past)

No, I’m talking about the following –

Returning the wave

There are too many people who don’t return the wave.

You know who you are.

And you sicken me.

This is how it should work – you stop to give right of way at one of those traffic calming measures, the car with right of way goes first and gives a wave of thanks to you, and then you MUST, MUST return that wave. The return wave is even more important than the original wave of thanks as it is acknowledging the thanks given by the other driver.

“But I’m the one who stopped and Gave Way; why should I wave thanks?” I hear you say.

The reason you return the wave is really quite simple. We live in a shitty, self-absorbed world. Manners and pleasant behaviour to one another really is on the decline. By waving back to someone who says thanks to you is really like saying “No problem” or “fuggedabowdid” (that’s a Mickey Blue Eyes reference for those who don’t get it…).

It’s nice to acknowledge someone’s manners as it shows that both people involved care about manners. Too often do I see people act very non-chalantly where politeness is concerned; it’s like the hipster-norm to ignore somebody saying thank you and continuing to read your book about 18th century blanket stitching techniques, rather than just saying “you’re welcome”.
It really is just about the little things.

So next time somebody thanks you for doing something, just acknowledge it. It’s nice to be nice.

If, on the other hand, someone doesn’t reply to you, then you are well within your rights to give them the finger, scream obscenities and jump out of your car and knock off their wing mirrors.

Remember: be nice.

Rant over

Check me out on twitter at @rantsen_things