Hey Parents, guess what?
To other people, your kids aren’t as important as you think they are.
“But Rantsen” I hear you wail, “you’re a Parent yourself! How could you say such a thing?”
Because I’m a realist, that’s why.
Like most Parents (not all, nothing is all remember) I love my kids, I really do, but there comes a time when you need to realise that people just don’t give as much of a sh*t about them as you do.
When my kids were born I used to absolutely bombard my Facebook page with pictures of them in their new outfits and, what was literally hourly updates of “amazing” things they had just done.
Like having the worst smelling nappy in the history of the entire Universe.
And, at the beginning, I would get lots of likes and comments about how beautiful and cute my kids were, and how people were “sooooo jealous…” of me for having such amazing kids. These comments ranged from my male, “Alpha-Male” friends, to my family, to my older-generational friends who don’t really know how to use “a Facebook”, but could still , manage to string together an “aw, they’re lovely” or a “you must be so proud”. (I have a wide variety of Friends who all belong to some sort of stereo-typical group or another.)
But, however, after a while the comments would become less and less. The Alpha-Male bro’s would maybe give a Like once in a while in-between Gym sessions, as would the childless Guys and Gals who were still popping pills in Nightclubs and who hadn’t “settled down” yet. The only real Kid-fans I had left were the “Oldies” and my Family, and even those were starting to tail off and leave only the occasional polite Comment or Like.
I was devastated to say the least.
“But I think my kids are amazing!” I said to myself. “Why aren’t people interested anymore?”
Having Kids can cloud your judgement; you can go from being the most rational person to the most irrational in the time it takes a cervix to dilate. The moment you have them, you place them on the highest pedestal and build up barriers to prevent them being knocked off it. You believe that everyone else should feel the way you do about your children and that anyone who doesn’t particularly like, or want kids is at best deluded, or at worst, a monster.
People with kids think this because of one thing – You forget how you yourself felt about kids before you had your own.
Again, not all. Some people are pre-disposed to liking kids, others don’t realise they would like them until they’ve had them. Before I had kids I used to be completely in-different of them (I didn’t know my Nephew had a middle name until he was 14)
I realised this, thankfully, before it was too late and I let myself become swept up in the notion that “people can be so cruel” not to worship my kids the way I do.
One of my friends had posted on Facebook that it was her daughters’ birthday and I noticed the almost robotic responses she was getting from people. There must have been six different people all replying with the old classic “Wow, where has all of the time gone? Happy Birthday Anais (not her real name but I’m surprised it’s not as her mother is the worlds biggest Hipster).
It was then I realised – I’d wrote exactly the same thing. To the word.
I once didn’t pay my electric bill on time so I could buy my new-born son an extra present to go along with the hundreds of pounds I’d already spent, for a Christmas that he would have no idea or recollection about. Yet, I couldn’t even come up with an original birthday wish for my friends’ daughter? What a heartless monster I was.
Except, I didn’t feel like a monster. I felt that, as lovely as “Anais” is, I didn’t have the need to go over the top about her in the same way I would with my own because I experience my kids way different to someone else’s.
And I suppose the same can be said about a lot of things in life.
Nobody will ever love your kids as much as you do, therefore it’s so important to know that, and to not forget it.
No, your kids aren’t that special. To everyone but you.
So go ahead and adore your children; love them like there is no tomorrow.
Just don’t be upset that not everyone else feels as much love for them as you do.