Leave the Kids out of it

Ok, I’m going to be the one who says it.

This is just plain wrong.

Go for it.

Call me intolerant. Call me a bigot. Call me a sexist, homophobic, transphobic, gender-bashing, hate-mongering piece of shit.

I’m not any of those things. But this is going too far.

I can tell you until I’m blue in the face that I’m all for people living their lives the way that they see fit. As long as someone isn’t hurting somebody else, I don’t care. I’ll stand up and defend anyone who is being bullied because of their Race, Religion, Gender, Sexual preferences, how they want to dress or what they want to look like.

That’s every adults choice to make and I’ll defend them from persecution every time.

But this?

A 10 year old boy who likes to dress as a Drag Queen decides to start a club for other like-minded children?

This is a child.

A 10 YEAR OLD CHILD

The “Child” in question (I highlight the word Child as I honestly believe this boy has been forcefully pushed beyond the realms of childhood) is named Desmond Napoles, a 10 year old from New York (who’d have thought eh?) who is known on the internet as “Desmond is amazing”.

This is quoted from Desmond’s website:

“At age six, Desmond expressed boundless joy when he received an Elsa costume from Disney’s movie “Frozen” for Halloween. After that, he often asked for princess costumes or dresses while out shopping. Soon, he often wanted to wear his dresses outside of the home. Initially uncertain if they were making the right decision for allowing him to do so, Desmond’s parents quickly and fortunately realized that the source of their uneasiness came not from Desmond’s personal choices, but from their own misgivings about how the outside world would react. It was as simple as defeating those feelings, accepting Desmond as he is, and respecting Desmond’s own tastes and preferences.”

The part of the quote in red is where I’d like to focus my attention.

When you have children, you have to make decisions for your child; choices that children are unfit to make due to their age, life experience and understanding of complex situations and societal norms. Leave it to a child to make decisions regarding their safety and up-bringing and you’ll generally find that they eat nothing but sweets and soda, test to see if a fire really is hot and cross a busy road without paying heed to the truck barrelling towards them.

The fact that Desmond’s parents had doubts about allowing him to dress up in dresses not just inside the house but outside as well, tells me everything I need to know about the whole situation. As a parent you generally go with your gut instinct on situations you’ve never come across before; your first instinct is almost always the correct one. You can’t gamble with your child’s future, particularly if it means putting said child in the firing line of all sorts of people and scenarios that a 10 year old is not capable of fully understanding or dealing with.

Desmond’s parents have gambled and allowed their child to behave as a fully responsible adult when he clearly is not. If he wants to dress up in women’s clothes when he is old enough to understand the impact of his choices, then fine. All power to him. But he is being allowed and actively encouraged to make decisions about his life that even a teenager or an adult would struggle with, all in the hope that his parents portray to people that they are “doing the right thing” and “promoting a sense of inclusion and progressivism”.

There are easier and less harmful ways of teaching a child about inclusivity and tolerance, without the need to throw them into the pool of life and see if they swim or drown.

Children should be protected, not exploited.

The whole situation reminds me of the young child actors in the ilk of Macauley Culkin and Lindsay Lohan; pushed and encouraged into acting by their parents at incredibly young ages; unaware of the dangers and pitfalls of the life they were being pushed into, all in the name of making their parents rich.

Everybody knows what happened to these two young actors, and the dozens of child stars who were unable to cope with being prematurely promoted to adult status. I hope beyond hope that the same doesn’t happen to Desmond.

Let him be a child.

He’s 10 years old, and at 10 years old he should be worrying about nothing more than what sandwiches he has in his lunchbox, and not having to deal with the amount of ridicule and abuse that he will surely be receiving now, and in his teens from intolerant assholes in the world. It’s bad enough dealing with that as an adult, never mind as a child.

Like I said earlier: live your life the way you see fit. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else with your life choices I don’t care.

Desmond’s parents are hurting their child with their choices.

So I DO care.

 

RANT OVER

 

 

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How to teach Sex Education the RIGHT way…

Happy New Year!

It’s only the 1st day of 2018 and already I’m ready to rant about more liberal nonsense.

Take this little beauty of an article in the Metro by Lifestyle Editor Ellen Scott entitled:

Why you should buy your teenage kids sex toys

Seriously. Go and read it and come back.

I’ll wait.

If, like me, you’re ready to snap your laptop in two, then we’ll begin.

So. The premise of this article, we are told, is not to “buy your son a Fisher Price sex-doll, or your daughter an 8 inch strap-on for her 8th birthday”.

Oh no, that would be crazy…

No, the reason for the article is as “a way to introduce your offspring to the concept of self-pleasure.”

Yes. You heard that right.

She’s suggesting that you buy sex-toys for your teenager

Ok, first of all: it’s a parents job to make sure their kids grow up healthy and safe, with enough food to eat and a roof over their head.

It’s not the job of a parent to sit down with their child and ask if they’d prefer a Pulsating Pussy or a Butt Plug.

lots-of-gifts

Generally, when it comes to discussing sex with your kids, I always find that less is more. The most that me and my parents talked about it was when I came home from school with a pocketful of condoms from Sex Education, to which my Dad warned me:

“Don’t let your sister see those!”

That was it. And the lesson I took from that is: don’t tell kids too much about adult subjects.

They’re called Adult subjects for a reason.

I know it’s the “cool” thing for parents to talk about everything with their kids now; the “no barriers” approach that single parents tend to  take in order to stay relevant to their kids. You know the ones: they’re the parents going through a mid-life crisis post-divorce who begin dressing the same as their kids and actually hanging out as friends and drinking buddies.

“Don’t go with Dad/Mam! Stay with me your Dad/Mam, I’m cool and can relate to you! I’m more like a best-friend than a parent! I’ll let you drink and snort coke with me!”

There’s just certain things that parents and kids don’t talk about in order to have a healthy relationship, and masturbation with sex toys is definitely one of them. Kids know about sex, and parents know their teens masturbate. Let’s just stay oblivious eh?

Can you imagine a single Father having to sit his daughter down and ask her if she wants a sex-toy?

He’d be in prison before he could say “but muh progressive parenting..”

So parents, the only thing I can say to those of you who might be considering offering sex-aids to your kids is: Don’t.

If you really want to help your kids when it comes to sex, do it the old-fashioned way:

Stock up the freezer with plenty of frozen Hot-dogs (a-la “Family Guy”) and occasionally replace the crusty sock that’s stashed under your son’s bed.

And then go about your business. Trust me, the kids will appreciate it more.

RANT OVER

 

 

No Kids allowed

I came across an interesting article the other day (which you can check out for yourselves here) about a Café owner in Brixham, Devon. The man in question owns a ship and ocean-liner themed Café called The Chart Room, which is lined from wall to wall with cruise-ship memorabilia and lots of other “boat stuff”. Being an avid cruise-ship and boat enthusiast, Bob Higginson (or Sir Bob as I will henceforth refer to him as) decided to open a business that reflects his interests and passions, which is of course, his prerogative to. And, since he can do pretty much whatever he likes with his OWN business (within the eyes of the law anyway) he has made an interesting decision regarding his OWN business.

He has banned under 12’s from the premises.

High-five

Obviously the outrage was going to come. Residents and parents alike began to pour scorn on Sir Bob’s decision to ban the little darlings from HIS business, citing such reasons as “marginalising children” and “discrimination”.

Give me a break.

For one thing, Sir Bob is well within his rights not to let children in. Children are not included in legislation regarding their permittance to a premises.

His place, his rules.

Dislike the decision all you want, but the fact remains that Sir Bob doesn’t have to let children in if he doesn’t want to. Yes, that might affect his sales and alienate people but you know what? That’s HIS problem.

There are countless places across the world that don’t cater for kids, and the reason is quite a simple one:

Not everybody likes or wants to be around kids.

In my last post; No, your kids are not that special, I talked about how people can think the world of their own children, but don’t necessarily give a damn about other peoples’. And that’s fine. Sir Bob has opened a business that he wants to aim at the older generation; the generation that has already had Kids and now that they’ve flown the nest, want to enjoy having a sense of freedom to live their lives without constraints. Or noise. Or cheesy Wotsit-covered fingers.

The people complaining about Children being “marginalised” don’t really think this at all. What they really feel is that as Parents they are the ones being treated unfairly, not their Kids. To say it’s the Kids is another example of people using their Children as a weapon to bash people over the head with to create sympathy; sympathy for the fact that having Kids can constrict your life and supress your ability to keep up with your Hipster friends.

My advice?

Stop taking your Kids to places that YOU want to go to. No Kid under 12 really wants to go to a Cruise-ship themed Café, just like no Kid wants to go to a Michelin Star restaurant  or the local pub to sit and watch you get p*ssed up with your mates.

Remember, it’s about the Kids, it’s not about you.

Now, leave the oldies to their peace and quiet, and off you go with the little-ones to McDonalds; there’s a Kids’ play area in a lot of them now. Not a lot of staff at the moment though; they’re off on strike asking to be paid more for not understanding what “No pickles” means.

RANT OVER

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No, your Kids are not that special

Hey Parents, guess what?

To other people, your kids aren’t as important as you think they are.

“But Rantsen” I hear you wail, “you’re a Parent yourself! How could you say such a thing?”

Because I’m a realist, that’s why.

Like most Parents (not all, nothing is all remember) I love my kids, I really do, but there comes a time when you need to realise that people just don’t give as much of a sh*t about them as you do.

When my kids were born I used to absolutely bombard my Facebook page with pictures of them in their new outfits and, what was literally hourly updates of “amazing” things they had just done.

Like smiling.

Like laughing.

Like having the worst smelling nappy in the history of the entire Universe.

And, at the beginning, I would get lots of likes and comments about how beautiful and cute my kids were, and how people were “sooooo jealous…” of me for having such amazing kids. These comments ranged from my male, “Alpha-Male” friends, to my family, to my older-generational friends who don’t really know how to use “a Facebook”, but could still , manage to string together an “aw, they’re lovely” or a “you must be so proud”. (I have a wide variety of Friends who all belong to some sort of stereo-typical group or another.)

But, however, after a while the comments would become less and less. The Alpha-Male bro’s would maybe give a Like once in a while in-between Gym sessions, as would the childless Guys and Gals who were still popping pills in Nightclubs and who hadn’t “settled down” yet. The only real Kid-fans I had left were the “Oldies” and my Family, and even those were starting to tail off and leave only the occasional polite Comment or Like.

I was devastated to say the least.

“But I think my kids are amazing!” I said to myself. “Why aren’t people interested anymore?”

Here’s why.

Having Kids can cloud your judgement; you can go from being the most rational person to the most irrational in the time it takes a cervix to dilate. The moment you have them, you place them on the highest pedestal and build up barriers to prevent them being knocked off it. You believe that everyone else should feel the way you do about your children and that anyone who doesn’t particularly like, or want kids is at best deluded, or at worst, a monster.

People with kids think this because of one thing – You forget how you yourself felt about kids before you had your own.

Again, not all. Some people are pre-disposed to liking kids, others don’t realise they would like them until they’ve had them. Before I had kids I used to be completely in-different of them (I didn’t know my Nephew had a middle name until he was 14)

I realised this, thankfully, before it was too late and I let myself become swept up in the notion that “people can be so cruel” not to worship my kids the way I do.

One of my friends had posted on Facebook that it was her daughters’ birthday and I noticed the almost robotic responses she was getting from people. There must have been six different people all replying with the old classic “Wow, where has all of the time gone? Happy Birthday Anais (not her real name but I’m surprised it’s not as her mother is the worlds biggest Hipster).

It was then I realised –  I’d wrote exactly the same thing. To the word.

I once didn’t pay my electric bill on time so I could buy my new-born son an extra present to go along with the hundreds of pounds I’d already spent, for a Christmas that he would have no idea or recollection about. Yet, I couldn’t even come up with an original birthday wish for my friends’ daughter? What a heartless monster I was.

Except, I didn’t feel like a monster. I felt that, as lovely as “Anais” is, I didn’t have the need to go over the top about her in the same way I would with my own because I experience my kids way different to someone else’s.

And I suppose the same can be said about a lot of things in life.

Nobody will ever love your kids as much as you do, therefore it’s so important to know that, and to not forget it.

No, your kids aren’t that special. To everyone but you.

So go ahead and adore your children; love them like there is no tomorrow.

Just don’t be upset that not everyone else feels as much love for them as you do.

RANT OVER