Happy New Year!
It’s only the 1st day of 2018 and already I’m ready to rant about more liberal nonsense.
Take this little beauty of an article in the Metro by Lifestyle Editor Ellen Scott entitled:
Seriously. Go and read it and come back.
If, like me, you’re ready to snap your laptop in two, then we’ll begin.
So. The premise of this article, we are told, is not to “buy your son a Fisher Price sex-doll, or your daughter an 8 inch strap-on for her 8th birthday”.
Oh no, that would be crazy…
No, the reason for the article is as “a way to introduce your offspring to the concept of self-pleasure.”
Yes. You heard that right.
She’s suggesting that you buy sex-toys for your teenager…
Ok, first of all: it’s a parents job to make sure their kids grow up healthy and safe, with enough food to eat and a roof over their head.
It’s not the job of a parent to sit down with their child and ask if they’d prefer a Pulsating Pussy or a Butt Plug.
Generally, when it comes to discussing sex with your kids, I always find that less is more. The most that me and my parents talked about it was when I came home from school with a pocketful of condoms from Sex Education, to which my Dad warned me:
“Don’t let your sister see those!”
That was it. And the lesson I took from that is: don’t tell kids too much about adult subjects.
They’re called Adult subjects for a reason.
I know it’s the “cool” thing for parents to talk about everything with their kids now; the “no barriers” approach that single parents tend to take in order to stay relevant to their kids. You know the ones: they’re the parents going through a mid-life crisis post-divorce who begin dressing the same as their kids and actually hanging out as friends and drinking buddies.
“Don’t go with Dad/Mam! Stay with me your Dad/Mam, I’m cool and can relate to you! I’m more like a best-friend than a parent! I’ll let you drink and snort coke with me!”
There’s just certain things that parents and kids don’t talk about in order to have a healthy relationship, and masturbation with sex toys is definitely one of them. Kids know about sex, and parents know their teens masturbate. Let’s just stay oblivious eh?
Can you imagine a single Father having to sit his daughter down and ask her if she wants a sex-toy?
He’d be in prison before he could say “but muh progressive parenting..”
So parents, the only thing I can say to those of you who might be considering offering sex-aids to your kids is: Don’t.
If you really want to help your kids when it comes to sex, do it the old-fashioned way:
Stock up the freezer with plenty of frozen Hot-dogs (a-la “Family Guy”) and occasionally replace the crusty sock that’s stashed under your son’s bed.
And then go about your business. Trust me, the kids will appreciate it more.